Sunday, April 22, 2007

Most Inappropriate Wedding Songs

This is a call for abstracts suggestions! Please submit your best examples of the worst wedding songs! Think inappropriate, ironic, hilarious and/or just plain wrong. And don't bother with the super obvious, because "Love Stinks" or "Love Hurts" or whatever go without saying. Here are some suggestions to get you started:

For the wedding march:
- Maneater (Hall & Oates)

For the ceremony:
- A Little Less Conversation (Elvis)

For the reception:
- I'm Not In Love (40cc or something... 10! 10cc!)
- Run Around Sue (Dion) [Only if you're marrying someone named Sue, especially if they are known for "running around."]

Okay, so go to town! I know you have some great ideas! And don't worry, we're not going to use these for our party song list. I've just been looking at "suggested play lists" for weddings and they're so much worse and more cliche than I could have ever imagined. It's all "Unchained Melody," "Too Good To Be True" and "Celebrate." Don't get me wrong, I like "Too Good To Be True," and even "Unchained Melody," but a whole evening's worth of similar songs and similar emotional climaxes... it's a bit much. Lucky for me, I've never been to a wedding with one of the suggested wedding playlists I've seen in magazines. Nonetheless, I do find myself thinking of what kinds of hilariously wrong songs could accidentally (or intentionally) be played at a wedding every time I find myself in a receiving line.


Connie said...

Hey Sydney,
Best Blog topic EVER! :)

I've got a dozen already. Which just goes to show I spend way too much time and $ on ITunes.

Okay, You say Maneater, and instantly Easy Lover by Phil Collins pops into my brain.
Fools Fall in Love by The Drifters
Insane In the Brain by Cypress Hill
Gold Digger by Kanye West (classic)
And finally,
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor cuz it was good enough for Rocky and it's like the anti Unchained Melody. :)

PS I've been to a couple of Swedish weddings now and it seem to hold true that Swedes *cannot* marry without playing ABBA. ALOT. So in that vein I think Waterloo could be a winner. :)

SonicLlama said...

Well, let's see... Here are a few selections from my own mp3 library.

Untouchable Face by Ani Difranco
I Don't Love Anyone by Belle and Sebastian
Song For the Dumped by Ben Folds Five
Lover I Don't Have to Love by Bright Eyes
Someday You Will by Loved by Death Cab for Cutie
Anthing by Elliot Smith
I Used to Lover Her (But I Had to Kill Her) by Guns N Roses
Hurt, either version
Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division (actually, anthing by Joy Division could be on this list)
Anything by Lilly Allen
Fuck and Run by Liz Phair
Yeah, Oh Yeah by the Magnetic Fields
Du Hast by Rammstein
The KKK Took My Baby Away by the Ramones
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by the Smiths
Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me by Tism

I'm sure I left something out. Though, come to think of it, hearing the melancholy, self-hating, sardonic strains of Morrisey echoing through a wedding party would be pretty sweet.

Rip Tatermen said...

As it happens, Joe, the first thought I had for songs to play was Say Yes, by Elliott Smith, mostly because it's great and was stuck in my head. It's a pretty happy song for him, but it probably sends the wrong message about Syd, what with the
I'm in love with the world/
through the eyes of a girl/
who's still around/
the morning after

Eric said...

Right now I'm listening to "You don't love me" by the Allman Brothers. Sadly, this is ruined by the phenomenal guitar work. I'm never unhappy while listening to this song.

Hmm... I, too, am intrigued by this blog topic.

"You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette
"Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash
"4+20" by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
"Gold Dust Woman" by Fleetwood Mac
"I Just Want to Make Love To You" by Foghat
"American Woman" by The Guess Who
"Ball & Chain" by Janis Joplin
"Cold Hard Bitch" by JET
"51st Anniversary" by Jimi Hendrix
"Detachable Penis" by King Missle (this may be better at a bachlorette party)
"Since I've Been Lovin' You" by Led Zeppelin
"Down by the River" or "A Man Needs A Maid" by Neil Young (I couldn't decide...)
"Rape Me" by Nirvana
"Self-Esteem" by The Offspring
"Dirty Woman" by Pink Floyd
Too many people play this at actual weddings, but "Every Breath You Take" by The Police is quite ironic.
"Steady, As She Goes" by The Raconteurs
"Good Things" by Sleater-Kinney
"Silverfuck" by the Smashing Pumpkins (or at least the intro, which I think is actually on Spaceboy)
"Wrong Way" by Sublime
"Ain't Talkin' Bout Love" by Van Halen
"I'm Bound to Pack it Up" by The White Stripes
"A Quick One, While He's Away" by The Who (even though this ends in forgiveness, I think the title is too ironic to igonre)

Joseph said...

Well, some of these work better than others, and sorting into the last two categories was more or less arbitrary, but here you go:

For the bachelorette party:
Garbage - Stupid Girl
Prisoner's Dilemma - Not Your Bitch

Bachelor party:
Tori Amos - She's Your Cocaine
The White Stripes - I'm Lonely (But I Ain't That Lonely Yet)

Wedding March:
Wilco - I Am Trying To Break Your Heart

For the ceremony:
Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Master and Slave
The Bloodhound Gang - I Hope You Die

After "Speak now or forever hold your peace":
Muse - Time Is Running Out

Exit March:
Sleater-Kinney - The End of You

The Streets - War of the Sexes
TMBG - Dig My Grave
The Postal Service - This Place Is A Prison
Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
Morphine - All Wrong

1-Year Anniversary:
Cake - Never There
Nirvana - Dumb
Stereo Total - L'Amour À 3

Joseph said...

Is it weird that I would actually be happy (and presumably entirely oblivious to the incongruity of) hearing these songs at a real wedding? Particularly I Used To Love Her (But I Had To Kill Her)? (Which Prisoner's Dilemma did a kick-ass cover of, as you may recall).

Suzanne said...

Haha! "Should I stay or should I go?" is a good one!
A few years ago I saw a woman on her honeymoon dedicate "Like a virgin" to her new husband at a karaoke bar, which struck me as an odd choice.
"Girls, girls, girls" by Motley Crue
"Afternoon delight" is always inappropriate
"Lying eyes" by the Eagles
The Paula Abdul song that goes "He's a cold-hearted snake, look into his eyes, uh-oh, he's been telling lies"

SonicLlama said...

I can't believe I forgot "Every Sperm is Sacred." Or would that be the perfect song for a wedding? I mean, it is pretty rousing and upbeat and all. And weddings are supposed to be rousing and upbeat. And it's also got the word "sacred" in the title, and weddings are supposed to be sacred. There's also the word "sperm," something that traditionally spring forth the night of the wedding. And the word "every" suggest universalism and world peace and such.
So actually- that's the perfect song for you and Pete's wedding. You should totally use that as a bridal march.

Beau said...

A few thoughts:

Should you wish to actually play Not Your Bitch I do still have my copy of Just Add Tape.

Now, a couple of suggestions or my own (gathered mostly from scrolling through iTunes):

My Wife by The Who (Such a romantic tune)
Let Me Put My Love into You by AC/DC
It Ain't Me Babe by Bob Dylan
Who's Making Love by... well mine is the Blues Brothers
Already Gone by the Eagles
Hey Joe by Jimi
Delia's Gone by Johnny Cash
Babe I am Gonna Leave You, by Led Zeppelin
Bring Me My Shotgun by Lightnin' Hopkins
50 Ways to Leave your Lover by Paul Simon
Honky Tonk Woman by The Rollin Stones
32-20 Blues by Robert Johnson
Trouble is a Man by Sarah Vaughn
A Month Dead by Stephen Lynch (Nothing like an Ode to Necrophilia at a wedding)
In Defense of a Peepshow Girl by Stephen Lynch(I suppose if you were marrying a peepshow girl it would work)
She Gotta Smile by Stephen Lynch

As I final note... I am almost disturbed by how many songs I have centered around the theme of killing one's mate...>_>

Kori the tomorrow lady said...

Hi Sydney,
I'm Kori and though you don't know me, I'd like to make a suggestion. Sung completely heartfelt and without a trace of irony, "Love Is" in proper bad Engrish style centers around the lovely chorus of

Your are my only
You are my treasure
I'd give you my whole thing
Even if you don't want

check it out...

Ryuichi Kawamura, "Love Is"

I suggest it for the prelude before your first dance.

may I also suggest HWC by Liz Phair to play as you cut the cake and lick frosting off fingers.

(so "HI" nice to meet you! hope you don't mind me joining your blog readership.)

Sydney said...

Wow, okay, I can't believe that I never responded to any of these wonderful suggestions! Man, if we were going to have an Anti-Wedding, we'd be so set. We'd just need to hire the satanic priest and make some really delicious-looking but nasty-tasting cookies and we'd be set!

Anonymous said...

I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace

P.I.M.P. by 50 Cent

Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

If you don't start drinkin (I'm gonna leave) by George Thorogood (another good pick is You Talk too Much)

She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd

Boys and Girls by Good Charlotte

Anonymous said...

smack my bith up - prodigy

keep on running - spencer davis

bat out of hell - meatloaf (1st part of chorus)

dont look back in anger - oasis

should i stay or should i go - the clash

i'm lonely, but i aint that lonely yet - the white stripes

mess around - ray charles

only fools rush in - elvis presley

this is the end - doors