Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Cap'n Ferret Fancier

Nothing can make you mean like watching a documentary on people who "show" ferrets. Like a dog show. But with ferrets. Pete and I went from kind, caring, gentle shows, to the meanest, most judgmental jerks in about five minutes flat. It was the horrible ferret song sung by one of the ferret ladies. Seriously, though: if there is a real cross-section of America that "shows" ferrets, this show (on OPB) did not give it fair representation. But if the OPB show is representative, ferret people are almost universally obese 60+-year old women who either had children who have grown up and moved away, or who never married and never had children. They're weird. They like country-style furnishings and those tapestry pillows with scenes of rabbits and flowers. And tie-dye. And turquoise. I'm not kidding: even if you only have one mean bone in your body, ferret ladies will turn you into a trash talking ass hole.

Pete said at one point, "I bet there's one ribbon per ferret at that show." Here's how OBP ended the program. "327 ferrets entered the show. [pause-wait for it...] 400 ribbons were awarded."

Monday, July 23, 2007

Harry Potter again - don't worry! No spoilers!

Hey, all you writers out there! You with series-es! Yeah, you lot - come over here. That's good, okay, now you can all hear. Look, you have to start plotting out the series from soup to nuts from day one. If Rowling has taught us anything, it is that the most satisfying final book is one that ties everything together without tying everything up. If that makes any sense. Okay, okay, mystery-series-writers, you're right, you probably are exceptions. Sure sure, if a series is intrinsically episodic, then planning from A to Z is maybe not necessary from day one. But if there's a plot to follow, a story arc, a character whose journey one is meant to care about, please please PLEASE sit down and plot it out - all of it! - at the beginning. And don't bring characters back from the dead after the final blow just because everyone is clamoring for them. Get used to it! We readers are a rowdy noisy lot and also we're very demanding and unreasonable. But be firm! Be steadfast! And over time we'll come to appreciate the finite nature of your canon. Maybe we'll feel like we do about Nirvana, happy that we never had to suffer through a slow and synth-filled death.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Harry Potter


Friday, July 20, 2007

Sydney sleep now

Wedding planning...
Student loan payments...
Inadequate salary...
Wedding planning...
Need shoes for dress...
Training nurses to use Excel...

Splitting headache.

Left frontal lobe wants out.
Preferably through eye socket.

Sleep. Must sleep. For Saturday there is:
Harry Potter!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Lightning is neato!

We just had a big ol' East Coast-style Thunder & Lightning Extravaganza here in Portland! Stick lightning and everything! It was all beautiful and clear this evening; the incredible, wonderful dry heat had just been replaced by the cool crepuscular breezes, which were sighing this way and that... and then, from the southeast, this green-gray miasma that can mean only one thing began first to creep and then to roll its way into and over the city. The storm was both calm and violent - the key lime-sized drops of rain were slow and infrequent, but heavily soaking. And it moved so quickly that for about five minutes after the rain had stopped at 25th and Marshall it was still bludgeoning the pavement at 25th and Northrup. The lightning was so cool - even the kitten (Domino, who is now a year old and as big as the old cat, Heidi) couldn't tear her eyes away from the window. I made her come in from the deck when the thunder started (I had to fish her out from under a patio chair) because I was worried that the noise would scare her. I should have known better: that cat isn't scared of anything. She was just desperate to get back out, running full speed up the stairs any time Pete or I took even a step in their direction. She stood by the window and mewled. She wound herself around and through Pete's legs and whined. But once we sat her in a north-facing window, she was glued to the spot until the storm moved too far north and the best parts of the lightning were obscured by our neighbors' rooftops. At that point I figured it was best to let her out, before she went totally nuts. I was surprised to find it was still raining- big, silent crocodile tears accompanied by more thunder to the south. Matt Zaffino (local weather hunk for the past 10-15 years, for those who don't recognize the name) says we're likely to have more storms throughout the night. Man, I love thunder storms! It was so cool to have real, awesome stick lightning for once too. I just hope I get to wake up in the middle of the night to the sound rain pounding the side of the house and thunder really crashing, not just grumbling.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I need my Harry Potter! ::whining:: Now...!

I just finished rereading Harry Potter 6 and now I need - NEED, people - number 7. I really enjoyed 6 the first time I read it, but it was even better the second time around. I'm going to have to reread 4, because right now, from where I stand, 6 seems like it's the best. There was so much that I missed the first time around because it was necessarily contextless. But knowing how it ends, having the context, well that changes everything! Or at least it feels like it does. So I'm all excited for number 7 now, even though I'm sure I'll cry right through the whole thing.

Is it the 21st yet? No? Damnit!

Friday, July 06, 2007

No, seriously: those PSAs suck

No, I'm sorry, I have to disagree: those ads are stupid. That irritating little dog being all like, "You disappoint me." Those ads make me want to get stoned and punt a puppy across a large room. And I love puppies! I don't think they really make the case for "smoke pot = loserdom." I think they make the case for "guy with talking puppy = tool." I really doubt that anyone sees those and says, "Yeah, pot is lame!"

The anti-pot ads I liked were the ones with the kid talking about how when he smokes weed he just goes and sits on his friend's couch in his basement. And that's it. They don't do anything and life just passes them by. I thought that was honest and probably the closest thing to a convincing argument one was likely to see in a PSA. Although really: does anyone think, "Ooh, marijuana looks so glamorous!" I bet it's more like, "Ooh, marijuana makes my boring suburban life a little funny and helps pass the time." But then, I've never been much for what is (for me) essentially an expensive sleep aid. So perhaps I'm biased. :)

That dog is a tool.

Also, I hate him. And his little flag.


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Why do dogs hate pot?

TV is all about dogs hating on stoners these days. There are two ads/PSAs in particular: a "live action" and a cartoon. The live action one doesn't really make sense. I mean, if you think your dog is talking to you, it's not the pot that's the problem - it's whatever the pot is laced with that's the problem. Also: making animals look like they're talking is always a stupid gimmick. And then the cartoon. I HATE those PSAs with the yellow background where the cartoon puppy is like, "You disappoint me," and then goes and raises his lame little flag. (Symbolism, anyone?) I hope those ads are making kids want to smoke pot. And I hope that they think "Fuck that sanctimonious little dog from the TV" as they do it.

Also, can anyone explain to me the sour skittles commercial with the guy hooked up to the milking apparatus? I mean, that is seriously weird.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Read this comic!

Thinkin' Lincoln linked to this comic today - Bear & Kitten. You should read all of it. It's awesome. I'm going to learn Drop Bear Fu.