Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, Everybody! (Happy New Year, Dr. Nick!) I have many updates, but I also have to shower and go to work. Let's see how fast I can run through these (synchronize watches now: it is 7:45 am).

1) Snow snow snow!! I've been putting together a slide show of snow pictures from our 2-week long "Arctic Blast," to use the parlance of our local news stations. I will get it posted soon - maybe tonight? - for those who are interested. Please keep in mind, non-Oregonians and especially people from snowy climes, most years Portland gets a quarter inch of snow in February and everyone gets their single snow day. 2 weeks of snowing is pretty much unheard of, and having more than a foot on the ground at all times in Portland, with temperatures under 30 (under 20 some of the time!)... well, that's just crazy talk. But it happened, for the first time in 50-years.

2) Pete has come up with a new name for the Sylvan overpass on Hwy-26 and I think we should petition the city to adopt Storm Team Memorial Overpass as its official appellation. "This is Mark Glyzewski for Storm Team 8,000 on the Storm Team Memorial Overpass. Back to you, Shauna."

3) I super love KGWs morning crew during a Weather Event. Normally I watch channel 12 (because some how Good Day Oregon has totally grown on me - probably because they're a little punchy every day and the aforementioned Glyzewski sounds like Number 24 from "Venture Brothers") but no matter when you got up between 4 am and 1 pm, KGW was on. That's right: Brenda Braxton and Russ Lewis were on for 9-hours every morning. And by the last hour, they were punchy. Delightfully nutty, having a good if exhausted time, blowing kisses to the viewers.

4) Hm. It's been 10 minutes already. I'm wandering!

5) Christmas: good. Gifts didn't all arrive, but we had at least one thing for everyone. I knit my brother socks, but even with all the days off, only had one finished because I had to rip back so many times. It would be nice if I could count and do basic arithmetic correctly the first three times.

6) New Years: good. Unexpected fun! Mike and Marissa took us out for drinks and we rang in the new year at a very subdued, mostly empty Baghdad Theater. On the way there, we ran into some nutters from Sacramento asking where they could catch a cab. Well, where they could catch a "fuckin' cab," so asks the guy. His female travelling companion says, "And sorry for saying 'fuck,'" and shoots him a look. We all demurred - I think Marissa said, "We're all adults here." Indeed! Pete said, "At a hotel," at the same moment I said, "You can't." I explained that Portland isn't really a cab city, so you have to call for one, unless you're near a hotel. And we couldn't think of a hotel nearby. So we asked where they were headed and told them how to take the bus. The girl became ebullient: "Oh man, Portlanders give the best fucking directions! You guys are so nice here! In [somewhere else - Seattle maybe?] they're all like 'Fuck you' but here, like at the airport even, people were all like, 'No, go this way, take this,' it's awesome man." The guy says, "Yeah, don't even ask for directions in SF. They're like, 'You don't know? Too fuckin' bad.'" They were pretty excited about the bus.

7) Edlund Family Christmas: held on 1/3 this year because of the snow. Good times, although we did miss Uncle Mike. We played Codeword or Password or something - I forget the name - and somehow made it work with a group of 16 people. Good times! Keaton and Mom share the same evil gift for passing the thing right before it buzzes, thereby scoring a point for their team.

8) A Very Martin Christmas: held yesterday, 1/4, because of snow. Also good times! We got our 8-year old niece Dance Dance Revolution because it seemed like her kind of game. And man was that a success! At one point she, her mom and an auntie all worked together to try "U Can't Touch This" on Expert, or so they thought. Mom took up and down, auntie took right, niece took left. They did not pass the first time, but repeated to finally score a C. And then realized it was on Basic, not Expert. You would not believe the peals of laughter generated by that game.

9) Oh noes! 8:05!

10) House update: It's cold. Really really cold. The hot water heater is not functioning very well and the fridge is making weird noises. And we've now found two "adult" items in our alley. The first was a porn DVD, about a month ago. The second was a "toy" - so very very gross. It was out there all day on Saturday, but after midnight some yahoos from the club next door noticed and came through the fence to examine it. Pete could hear their cries of, "ew! gross!" and then one of them said, "Oh gross, it's all covered in Vaseline but I don't even care I'm gonna pick it up and touch you with it." You should have seen him trying not to laugh to loudly where they'd hear him. It was dropped outside our fence when their ride arrived. I have pictures, but I'm not posting them for the same reason I wanted it gone from the front of the house: I don't want this to become known as the Vibrator Blog just like I don't want this house to become known as the Vibrator House. It was gone by Sunday evening - I have no idea what happened to it. I choose to believe it belonged to a club patron who tried to throw it away in our garbage cans, failed completely, and then noticed it on his/her way to church on Sunday and removed it for us. More likely, though, a less squeamish neighbor threw it out. Either way: hooray!

11) Okay, for those of you playing along at home, it's 8:15. That means it took me... ::sigh:: 30 minutes to do a "quick" update. You know, it's a good thing I don't make new year's resolutions, because I would break them all the time.