This is for Joe!
Wrestler 2: Hey, let's all get drunk and stoned so that we can forget all about our Mat-Herp problems.
Cheerleader: I dunno guys...
Wrestler 1: It's okay; I drive better when I'm high.
[Exit wrestlers and cheerleader. Fade to black. Suddenly you hear a tires-squealing-car-going-out-of-control sound and two headlights blind you from the screen!]
Disemboddied Voice of Wrestler 1: Damn you Mat-Herp!
[Message appears at end: This story was based on true events. Sometime, somewhere, teenagers have drowned their sorrows over an STD in beer and weed. AND IT KILLED THEM! So remember kids: no glove, no love. Or wrestling. Because if you get an STD from a surface, YOU'LL DIE IN A FIRELY CAR CRASH!]