Sunday, December 24, 2006

New Lyrics to White Christmas

I thought of these in the shower. Because that's how I roll.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas;
So white with fog you cannot see!
Where the tree tops glisten
And children listen
To hear them shining through the murk!

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas;
The kind that closes Heathrow down.
May your days be merry and dim!
And may all your Christmases be fogged in!


SonicLlama said...

You know what I've always found totally creepy? The phrase "White Christmas." Like it's Kristmas with the Klan or something. Like, "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas/Just like the ones I used to know/Before a bunch of minorities moved into my goddamn neighborhood."
Yeah creepy. Or maybe I just have a twisted imagination wherein I can't help but picture Bing Crosby as some sort of cryptofascist...
That movie is great, though. It has Danny Kaye! Yay for Danny Kaye!

Joseph said...

Ha! Your new lyrics were insufficient to halt our progress! We made it through the Heathrow airport with nary a problem, thankyouverymuch. Well, we did spend Christmas in Terminal A, Gate 9, listening to crappy Christmas carols. And British Airways managed to lose all (!) of our checked bags. But other than that, everything went great.

Sydney said...

Wow! That blows, Joseph! The worst I've had ::knock on wood:: is a bag getting sent on a later flight. But American (or whichever domestic airline it was) delivered the bag to my door when it did arrive, around 10:30pm. So, are you guys getting all new Sudanese wardrobes?

Joseph said...

Well, we're getting our bags sent on a later flight, too. However, there are only 2 (3?) flights a week from Heathrow, so it'll be a while. They supposed to arrive today, but we drove out to the airport this morning and no new bags were in evidence. They did give us $100 each as compensation, which is nice, I'd guess, but I'd rather have more than one clean set of clothes. :-)

Right now we're getting by on daily laundry runs and borrowed clothing. A nuisance, but it'll suffice.

Joseph said...

Dude, so we went shopping today, and I now have a partially Sudanese wardrobe (new pants and underwear. Check out the awesome label that came with my pants:

U.S.A Fashion

We always keep the intonation
of apearance,
supremacy of quality and the self nobility,are
all the distinctions of a modem
leader's confidence.

Yes, that's exactly what it said. Line breaks, lack of spaces, typos (modem?) and all.

SonicLlama said...

Oh my god! Someone tell Japan- Sudan has stolen their Engrish!

Do they have exciting hats in the Sudan? If they do, then you need to add them to your newfound hat collection. I'm hoping for something with sartorial altitude.

Joseph said...

No weird hats in Sudan. Lots of turbans, though. I should pick up one or two of those, I suppose.

I suspect the pants were not made in Sudan. I bought them at a Turkish shopping emporium (no, I'm not making a deadpan joke -- that's actually what it was), so perhaps they're Turkish. Sadly, I threw away the label.

Joseph said...

Hey, Joe, looks like you're not the first one to think of it that way: