Execution and intent: "In Bruges" and "Revolver"

I have a terrible head cold, and as a consequence, I seem to be spending the long weekend watching movies. Last night we watched In Bruges, with Colin Farrell, and this afternoon we watched Revolver, with Jason Statham. I knew that Revolver had gotten rather bad reviews and that In Bruges had gotten good reviews. (I even remembered reading that it had been almost criminally misrepresented in its ad campaign.) But, you know, I liked The Transporter and it's not like I'm doing anything with this time other than keeping Kleenex stock on the up-tick. Interestingly, these movies work as a kind of gangster-genre Goofus and Gallant. Although Revolver was released in 2005 in Europe, it didn't make it to the US until March 2008, a month after In Bruges, almost as if the distributors wanted viewers to make that connection.

While there are some overt similarities - both are gangster movies that take place in somewhat imaginary locations, both have accented (to my American ears) leads from the British Isles, neither movie begins at its story's beginning, both have a mysterious and powerful gangster king pulling the strings in the background - the most striking similarity is one of intent. Both movies would like to be a deeply affecting, multifaceted meditation on what it is to be a certain kind of person. In Bruges succeeds at delving into what it is to be a good person, while also being clever, funny, touching, tense, thoughtful, well-crafted and well-acted. Revolver, on the other hand, is like one of those stories you write at summer camp, where each person adds a line and then folds the paper so that the next person can only read the most recent addition before adding their own line. It's confusing, noisy, directionless, and -worst of all- pretentious beyond all reason. It seems to think it's a meditation on ego and personal strength, full of mantras plundered from someone's freshman social studies notes they found on a bus. I've seen Triscuit boxes with more philosophical value.

I have so much I want to say about this, but I'm having trouble constructing coherent sentences due to my head cold/medication situation. I hope Pete will write about this himself. When we finished In Bruges last night, neither of us could really talk about it. It was so dense and funny and sad and strange and wonderful. About a quarter of the way into Revolver, I said to Pete, "This doesn't make any sense." And then one of the characters said, "This doesn't make any sense." I thought, "Oh, okay, this is how it's supposed to be." But it never made any sense. It just kept pushing on and on forever, like a sheep with its head stuck between two slats in a fence.

Unenchanted

While Pete watched the Blazer game on TNT (with its unlistenable commentators), I subjected myself to a little piece of probable masochism and watched "Enchanted" streaming on Netflix. They couldn't perform enough of those songs at last year's Oscars and I've always kind of wondered what all the fuss was about. My expectations were very, very low. And you know: it wasn't a total and complete waste of my time. It was mostly a waste of my time, but Patrick Dempsey's irritated rejoinders made much of the movie almost bearable. And I liked the little post-feminist twist at the end; very cute.

What surprised me was how empty I felt once it was over. I have ranted in the past, out loud if not in this blog, about how much I hate the unrealistic standard set by romantic comedies for what love and relationships are supposed to be like. There's so much focus on "happily ever after" that girls who grow up watching too much of that dreck are woefully unprepared for the quotidian realities of a real, long-term relationship.

AN ASIDE: I feel I should offer the following disclaimer before going any further: I am one of those irritating people who is happiest doing the most mundane relationship/household things. I love going to the grocery store, I love long days in and out of the car running errands, I love chatting in the kitchen while I make dinner and Pete does the dishes... And I also had the nerve to marry my best friend, so we genuinely get along and enjoy each other's company.

SO... why do people usually watch romantic comedies? Because they like the sensation of vicariously falling in love. Now the whole deal with "Enchanted" is that it's supposed to put the lie to the fairy tale "happily ever after"- that given a dose of reality, even an animated fairy princess would realize you can't base a lifetime of "happily ever after" on a single duet and a mutual attraction. But it's still a romantic comedy, so the princess in question (named Gisele) has to fall in love. And she does. With real world New York divorce lawyer Dempsey. And it's very cute: she forms an attachment with his daughter and we find that she is less worldly than a six year old. Predictable, but not over done. So that's something.

ANOTHER ASIDE: One thing I did like is in the beginning, when Dempsey decides to let this strange woman sleep on his sofa - mostly because she's already asleep - he tells his daughter he wants her to sleep in his room that night. (Oh, keep your gross nonsense to yourselves, you guys!) It's exactly the kind of thing a real parent would do: protect their child. And mostly movies don't bother with stuff like that because they're too worried about how it would look that a grown man is telling a six year old to sleep in his room. And of course they would trust the trustworthy stranger! Why not? Also: the very first scene where we meet Dempsey's daughter, he's picking her up from Karate and gives her a book on great women, like Marie Curie and Rosa Parks. My feminism's all a tingle! Bravo, "Enchanted;" you did two things that were both surprising and charming.

ANYWAY... Because "Enchanted" makes it so abundantly clear that the "ever after" part is a long time and "happily" is going to take some time and consideration even if you do fall in love at first sight, I was surprised that it so closely followed the usual story arc for a romantic comedy. The big climax is that she falls in love with him, and "ever after" is glossed over in a "dancing around the apartment as a family" montage as the credits begin to roll. I wish that it had condensed the current plot down to 30-40 minutes and then spent an hour showing us how that relationship works.

I mean, this woman made me think of the first verse of Ben Fold's Five's "Kate": "She plays wipe out on the drums / The squirrels and the birds come / Gather 'round to sing the guitar." I mean, she called all the rats and pigeons in New York to clean a dirty apartment... with song. (And yes, the singing is very, very annoying. VERY ANNOYING.) How long is her unworldliness appealing? How do they get her a social security number? How did she start her little clothing business? And did she steal it from Dempsey's former girlfriend who accompanies the prince back to fantasy land? There are so many questions! It could have been a kind of brilliant surrealist mystery- the detective or IRS man nosing around the apartment, assuming her dress company is a money laundering front. Her saying, "I bested the evil Queen of Andalusia or wherever I claim to be from: I think I can handle the IRS." Cut to Gisele sitting in a little office in a bland government building, drooling with boredom, muttering "You're the evilest queen!" before passing out. Then the IRS man hates her because he thinks she's anti-gay! Hilarity ensues!

Okay, so that last bit was a terrible idea. I can own that. My point is, I really wanted to see what life was like for a pragmatic, cosmopolitan divorce attorney and single parent who (ostensibly) marries (and certainly at least moves in with) a magical virgin with all the wide-eyed optimism and sophistication of a small child. I wanted to see how she did as a parent; did the little girl ever get to be a little girl, or did she have to keep giving her step-mom advice, like, "don't wear too much make-up or you'll look like a slut." (That is really a piece of advice she gives Gisele in the movie, though not in those exact words.)

Answer Me This

How did Steven Seagal become... Who thought that he was a.... What... Wh... ...How do his movies get made?! He's terrible! The "action" is awful! I'm watching this thing Pete has on and I'm asking myself: To whom is he even a hero in this? Rageaholics? Workaholics? Good ol' boys? Wannabe cops? I simply don't understand how this man has a career.

Pete said he's watching it for the moment when the female lead realizes she's going to have to kiss him at some point. I said I'm watching for the moment when she realizes that she's in a Steven Seagal movie. Then we saw... Tom Arnold. I said, "I bet he already knows he's in a Steven Seagal movie." Pete said, "At this point in his career, Steven Seagal may be wondering how he ended up in a Tom Arnold movie."

My Most Recent Movie Recommendations

I must do this quickly before I die of tired.

Movies I have seen recently:

-Eddie Izzard, Unrepeatable.
Not as good as the first one I saw, but I still laughed most of the way through, and look forward to his other performances. Made me think of Joseph, actually. He has a whole thing about why he's a transvestite (or was at the time, I guess). It's very women's lib. Women can wear any article of clothing and men can't; he doesn't think that's quite fair. I thought of 'Seph and his kilt. And the comments/questions he gets. Izzard says it's always groups of men - five, to be exact - saying "Bloke in a dress! bloke in a dress!" to one another. And when he responds, "Yes. I'm a bloke in a dress," they seem at a loss. That seemed like a very Joseph attitude: "Um, duh? Can I help you with anything else, Captain Obvious? Well then, I'm off to be awesome!"

-Iron Man
Oh my god Robert Downey Jr is my new favorite male lead ever and may his franchise live on and become a huger success with each film and may none of them ever suck because seriously dude has seen enough bad shit already and you can see it in his soulful soulful eyes. ::sighhhhh::

-National Treasure II
OH GOD THE PAIN

-The Assassination of Jesse James by that Coward Robert Ford
I may be distantly related to Jesse James (if he was a cousin to the Younger brothers, I was named after their sister, Sydney Anne Younger) so I have naturally always coveted association with his mythology (who doesn't want a famous ancestor, regardless of how they garnered their fame). I wrote a paper on him in the 5th grade that ended with the poem/song of the same name (the source of the movie's title, if you will) so that was pretty neat. That's why I wanted to rent it. Here is what I thought after I saw it:
::buh::
It's so goddamned beautiful that I was rendered speechless. I'm not even sure if it's a good movie - although I think it may be great - because I was so stupefied by how beautifully it was framed and filmed. Also, Brad Pitt is just amazing. He's so tightly wound, so dark and terrible and paranoid, and yet so tragic and sad and wounded. You know what's going to happen - title's kind of a spoiler - and you can see it ramping up, but by the time it does, you still don't know whether to be sad for him or relieved that he's dead.
And yes, that is Zooey Deschanel doing a little burlesque at the end.

-Erm... Oh! Right! Girl Movie afternoon at mom's.

-27 Dresses
Not as bad as I expected. In fact: entirely watchable. The lead female isn't simpering or dumb, the lead male isn't trying to get in her pants (at least for most of the movie) and in the end, once they've finally been honest with each other, they're rewarded for their candor. Yay?

And more than that and I'd have to check my netflix queue. Which I'm not going to because I have to sleep. Dag! The cat just crawled into my lap. Oh god, I'm being pierced with cuteness! Next she'll start purring and doing that thing where she wraps her little paws around my forearm and then flexes them in her sleep like a tiny, adorable, furry arm hug. Or she'll start yowling. I think Mom might be right: she must be part siamese. She's so loud! I mean, She's so vocal! ::good kitty::

Public Service Announcement: Don't Watch National Treasure II

Unless, of course, you super love ginormous plot holes, contrived beyond suspension of disbelievablility plot points, characters with exactly one dimension and two facial expressions each, and Helen Mirren's awesome boobs. Okay, actually, strike that last one, because everyone loves Helen Mirren (boobs or otherwise), but you should not watch this movie just for Helen Mirren. Although I will give her this: she tones it down to the exact level of the movie, never once looking out of place. Dang. That lady is super. If there hadn't been a HUGE thunder storm to distract us, it may well have been unwatchable. Here is a synopsis:

[[WARNING: This is extrodinarily long. The reason is threefold: 1) I type at about 90 wpm, so I tend to write way more than I intend to without really noticing it. 2) I tend to blog late at night when all sense of time and length has left me. 3) This post has a lot of short lines. But I can't promise they're all worth reading. Or that it's well edited. So, um, sorry about that!]]

Nick Cage: My ancestor saved the Union in the civil war by burning part of John Wilkes Booth's Diary and dying the same night Lincoln was assassinated.
Audience: [clap clap clap]
Bald Guy: Only he was actually a co-conspirator! See how this other page from Wilkes' diary proves that?
Nick Cage: Oh noes! I better steal some priceless artifacts to prove that this guy is a poopy head!

Young guy: I'm sellin' a book. Dag. No ladies like me. They wish I was Nick Cage. Double Dag! My car is being repoed by the IRS!
Nick Cage: Where's your car, YG?
Young guy: Where's your house, Nick Cage?
Nick Cage: I'm breaking up with my girlfriend, but she gets the house. That is mine. Because I bought it. With my adventuring money from the first movie. Say, you wouldn't be interested in clearing my ancestor's name from a clearly specious accusation, would you?
YG: Yea! My life has meaning again!
Nick Cage: Yea! You can help me break into my house (that my girlfriend gets in the breakup for some reason even though I'm making it super clear we're not married) and steal my girlfriend's ID badge.

YG: B&E is super easy for me and my bag of tech gagets.
NC: Oh no, she's home! With a date!
Girlfriend: What are you doing here? Gimme that. I'm coming too! Adventure! [grumble]

GF: I'm spectro-intrared-cg-analyzing your diary page with my museum curator machines. Which I wasn't going to do even though it's my job until you made me.
NC: A cypher! Let's solve it!
YG: Okay, I'll manually enter every 5-letter word in the English language in this computer program.
NC: Dad, can you remember any more details from a story your grandfather told you as a boy that might tell us the secret cypher key word?
Nick Cage's Dad: Gosh son, I don't know. He said, "Oh, it was scary. And the cypher keyword is "Implausible."
NC: That's not five letters, but good enough!
YG: Yea! I'm being useful!
NC: This means we have to go to Paris.

Baddies: [breaking into NCD's house]
NCD: Humdidum, bringing in the groceries. Oh noes!
Baddies: [knock out NCD] Get his phone. Now we have a copy! This whole process was so profoundly stupid and ridiculous it can only serve as a warning to others that working on films of this nature robs everyone of their most basic sense of verisimilitude.

NCD: Nick Cage, I was totally knocked unconscious! By goons!
NC: [shouting, leaping from chair] I. Am. In. Paris. I. Am. Coming. Home. Right. Now. [This was the most crazily stilted piece of dialog in the whole movie.]
NCD: Nah.
NC: [sitting] O. K. I. Will. Stay. Here. In. Paris.

BG: Now I have a copy of NCD's phone. I am a super genius and also clearly a super bad guy! Bwah ha ha!

NC: Let's use a camera to look at Paris' statue of liberty real close for a secret message.
YG: Okay.
French Policeman: Hey, cut it out!
NC: Let me recite all kinds of obscure historical "facts" that we probably made up on the spot! It makes me look super smart and almost convincing as a scholar. Lucky for me, I'm supposed to be a scholar of the "DaVinci Code" variety. You know: Suckmaster Scholar. FPM, can you tell me which way to Buckinham Palace? I have to break into the Queen's desk!
FPM: I'll call you a cab, Nick Cage! Nothing about that statement seems at all fishy! YG, I'm writing you a ticket! [Wah wah!]

NC: Dad, we're going to England.
NCD: OK.
BG: (I totally heard that.)

NC: Lalala, breaking into Buckingham Palace is so easy!
GF: I came to help you.
NC: What are you doing here? I'm making a scene!
GF: Oh, yeah, well I guess I'll help!
NC: Now that we're locked up, you should go home while I climb into the service elevator with a large floral display.
GF: No, I'm coming too.
NC: Good thing there are no guards anywhere in Buckinham Palace except for the foyer.
GF: Super good. Let's rifle through the queen's drawers!
NC: Rad. That's why I like you.
GF: Ooh, neat hidey-hole. But what's with the old piece of wood?

NC: Oh noes! Bald Guy! Quick, a car chase!
YG: You drive real crazy!
NC: I'm running a red light for the picture. Tee hee! I just through this SIGNIFICANT HISTORICAL ARTIFACT into the Thames! Good this red light cameras have such high resolution cameras!

NC: Dad, translate this grainy picture of an old plank. It's in Ancient Native American!
NCD: I think it says, "Yes, there was only one language in Ancient Native America."
NC: Hrm. Let's ask mom just to be sure.
NCD: But she hates me! [pouts]

NC: Mom, translate this!
The Always Delightful Helen Mirren: I'm the best part of this movie and I'm not even trying!
NC: Yeah, that's true.
TADHM: Oh, right, your grainy picture of an old plank. Um, it says, "I am a treasure map to a fabled city of gold." You are a silly adventurer, Nick Cage. NCD? I totally still hate you for reasons that make no sense but allow me to holler a lot. Also, I am wearing a necklace with big, oddly shaped beads and all black because I am An Anthropologist!
NC: Helen Mirren, you are always a delight.
TADHM: Aw, that's sweet.

NC: Let's break into the white house!
GF: ME TOO, dangit!
NC: Okay - this time.

NC: Hey guy who wants to date my girlfriend. I'm going to vaguely insult your masculinity and you'll totally let me into the oval office.
GWWTDNCGF: Yes.
NC: Distract him while I poke the president's desk.
GF: Hey, GWWTDNCGF, you wanna have sloppy makeouts while Nick Cage looks for my lost earring in a part of the oval office I never walked through?
GWWTDNCGF: Yes.
NC: Oh noes! The old plank is missing!

YG: The old plank is in the President's Book. It's a thing I made up. It talks about Area 51, because that's the only thing Conspiracy Theorists like me care about ever.
NC: Huh. I'm going to need that.

NC: FBI Guy I know somehow, who is maybe tracking me maybe not, what about this President's Book thing?
FBI Guy: Let's go outside so I can divulge state secrets because I am only an FBI Guy in my office. Outside I am your friend and the rules don't apply. Um, there is a book. But only the President knows where it is. Because it's his. It's the President's Book.

NC: I'm going to kidnap the president.
Everyone else: No! That's a terrible idea.
NC: Two words: Mount Vernon.
YG, NCD, GF: I'm in.

NC: I'm totally breaking into the President's birthday party at Mount Vernon. Good thing the secret service is crap at their jobs. Hey, Mr. President! I brought you a musty old map!
President: I saw in the news your family was discredited. That's too bad. Ooh! I love maps!
NC: Really? Total surprise to me. You wanna shake off these secret service a-holes and explore an old tunnel?
President: You know it!
NC: Now that I've got you in a totally old room, I need to see your book.
President: You're so going to jail.
NC: Maybe. But I'm not really kidnapping you. So, um, can I see your book? Please?
President: Well, you did say please.

NC: We're breaking into the Library of Congress which is apparently both open and full of patrons at midnight.
GF: I'm here because I have a pass!
YG: I'm here because I'm your side kick!
NC: The book! Hooray! It has a photo of the other plank which was burned a billionty-half years ago by some a-hole called Coolridge. Also, Queen Victoria supported the confederacy. I'm totally glad I stole her old plank and threw it in the river!
GF: Oh noes! The FBI!
YG: Time for a daring escape.
NC: If you drive fast enough, your Mercedes SUV can overcome the world's slowest rising barriers.
GF: Weeeeeeeeee!

NC: Dad, I need to translate another plank.
NCD: Yes, let's go see your mother.
NC: No, you need to do it. For some reason. Maybe because I'm being chased by the FBI?
[Um, sorry folks, I seriously tuned out at this point.]

BG: TADHM is a speaker of Ancient Native American!

BG: TADHM, can you look at a thing I have?
TADHM: Um, no. Cause it's bad?
BG: NCD is on his way in here. Don't give him the right translation.
NCD: TADHM, can you save yet another scene with your ability to turn the stupidest writing ever into some semblance of a scene?
TADHM: Without question.
BG: TADHM, get your coat, I'm taking you with me for a reason I won't explain.

BG: We're on Mount Rushmore. I'm going to find a fabled city of gold because I think the civil war is still being fought! Or something like that.
TADHM: This movie is dumb. [Okay, she didn't say that, but she should have. Because it's true.]
NC: Haha! I've totally beaten you here! TADHM sent us a code message!
BG: Fine, we'll all go together.
NC: Pour water on this rock to find the secret passage.
GF: I found it!
NC: Look, a door!
YG: Wee! I just love ruining national monuments!
NC: Oh no, we're falling down a pit!

TADHM: NCD, we're stuck on the other side of some random door thing. Let's dig our way out.
NCD: Okay.

NC: BG, we have to work as a team.
BG: No, me first.
NC: Okay. Let's get out of this totally contrived booby trap.

NC: Good thing we made it through. Wow, this room is full of water.
GF: Oh noes! We're trapped!
NC: Nuh uh. We'll just turn this really obvious lever here.
GF: You're so smart!

NC: A fabled city of gold! Let's no one mention how ridiculous it is for an AZTEC city to be in SOUTH DAKOTA.
Everyone: O K.
TADHM & NCD: You hoo!
NC: Hooray! Helen Mirren is still in this movie! Helen Mirren, your boobs look awesome!
TADHM: Thank you!

GF: Oh noes! It's filling with water!
NC: Let's go through this trapped door thing where one of us has to stay behind.
BG: Haha, it will be you!
NC: Oh noes, the current is so strong! It will be you!
BG: I've been your adversary for no particular reason this whole movie, but now my life is forfeit so I will confess that actually your ancestor wasn't a bad dude after all. I just wanted to make a name for my family! Remember me fondly....
NC: O K! I will! Even though no one will ever explain what my ancestor's name on that list really means! [Here is a thing he should have said: "Also, this room is not filling that fast. If you go out into the larger chamber, we can probably get help down to you before you drown." But he didn't. And BG drowned in the most incredible sudden-filling of a chamber with water ever.]

NC: Look, a light! We're saved!
Everyone: Hooray!
NC: Wow, there's a lot of FBI agents here.
FBI Guy: You're under arrest for kidnapping the President. For 22 minutes.
NC: That's cool.

The President: You are a rad dude. FBI Guys, he did not kidnap me. We were explorin' at Mount Vernon.
FBI Guy: Oh, well then. That's a totally different kind of a thing!
NC: Let us all remember BG.
President: O K. Also, look at tomorrow's paper, which I happen to have here.
NC: Yea! My ancestor's name has been cleared! On the front page of the Post! Because everyone cared about this! And when I blew a hole in the side of Mount Rushmore, someone informed the press that I was discovering a lost city of gold and that somehow meant that my ancestor was a cool dude AND I finally won us the Civil War! Hooray! I'm awesome!
GF: That's true. Also, you should move back in. To your house. That you own. Even though I live there and you don't.

YG: My car is back! Hooray! I will now back it into something! [wah wahhhh!]

~~FIN~~

So there you have it. I don't feel like I need to say anything else about this AWFUL movie. And now you don't have to sit through it! Unless you're on a plane. Although if that is the case, I suggest you do what Pete and I did with "Dare Devil": Take off your headset, put on an eye mask, and hope to god you fall asleep quickly.

Now I don't need to see the movie!

What the hell is up with movie previews? I don't go to the movies very often, but that is partly because with movie previews the way they are, I don't need to. I swear to God, why do they feel they have to give away the whole movie in the trailer?

Voice Over Guy: Marty Beacon had the perfect life - two beautiful children, a husband who loved her, a house in the suburbs - until one day, all that changed. Now her husband doesn't know her, her children are terrified of her, and everyone tells her that Marty Beacon died two years ago.
Marty: Why is this happening to me? Why, God, why?!
VOG: Marty must investigate her own death under the guise of someone else, and all the while she feels she's being watched.
Marty: There's someone watching me. I know it...
VOG: Who is watching her? Why are they following her? Marty will have to openly face her nemesis in a fight for her life!
Marty: Show yourself!
VOG: Can she stop him? Will it get her family back? Or is it already too late...
[Marty is in hospital bed, lots of tubes and wires. The camera pans up to a doctor looking over her chart, then turning to her... husband and children, gathered around her bed!]
Husband: Doctor, how is she?
Doctor: I won't lie to you - it doesn't look good.
Husband: What's wrong with her?
Doctor: Nothing.
Husband: What? How can that be?
Doctor: We've done every test we have and they've all come back negative. No, I'm sorry sir, this is beyond our capabilities. Whatever is wrong with Marty, it's something she's got to battle out herself.
VOG: As Marty battles within herself, with her own secret demons, her family waits anxiously by her side. Will Marty ever wake up? Will she ever learn the truth? Find out, this summer, in "Beacon Hill."
[Final shot of Marty in hospital bed, eyelids fluttering, kids saying, happily, "Mom?"]

Movie List

So I was reading a post on a blog linked to by The Hired Tongue (Quixotic Quest, 04 Feb 2007 11pm) and it has this crazy movie list he found somewhere on Facebook. Here's what he says, "SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 movies on this list.
...Behold, the most random assortment of movies I have ever beheld. I am at a loss for what holds them together. The list has a certain horrid fascination, though. Enjoy." And my God if he isn't right! It is a list of horrid facination! His score was 65. Mine is 108. What's hilarious is that while I don't have a life (so, that rating is perhaps accurate), I never go to the movies! Ever! The last movie I saw in the theater was "The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," and the one before that was "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." And yet this list would have you believe that I am quite the movie buff! So here is "my" list, with some additional symbols as I felt like this left something to be desired in caveats (like, "it was on TV" or "I was trapped on a plane").
(x) I’ve seen it
(~) I’ve seen part of it (not counted)
( ) I haven’t seen it
(x)tv I saw it on tv
* Saw on a plane
^ Mom owns
# I own

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease ^#
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean ^#
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest ^
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club ^#
(x) Starsky and Hutch 
(x) Neverending Story 
(x) Blazing Saddles 
(x) Airplane 
Total: 9 

(x) The Princess Bride ^#
(x) AnchorMan 
(x) Napoleon Dynamite ^#
( ) Labyrinth 
( ) Saw 
( ) Saw II 
( ) Saw III 
( ) White Oleander 
( ) Anger Management 
(x) 50 First Dates 
(x) The Princess Diaries 
(~) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement 
Total so far: 14 

(x) Scream 
(x) Scream 2 
(x) Scream 3 
(~) Scary Movie 
( ) Scary Movie 2 
( ) Scary Movie 3 
( ) Scary Movie 4 
(x) American Pie 
(~) American Pie 2 
( ) American Wedding 
( ) American Pie Band Camp 
Total so far: 18 

(x) Harry Potter 1 ^#
(x) Harry Potter 2 ^
(x) Harry Potter 3 ^
(x) Harry Potter 4 ^
(x)tv Resident Evil 1 
(x)tv Resident Evil 2 
(x) The Wedding Singer 
(~) Little Black Book 
( ) The Village 
(x) Lilo & Stitch 
Total so far: 26 

(x) Finding Nemo ^
(x) Finding Neverland ^
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x)tv 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(x) Robots *
Total so far: 30 

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events *
(~) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x)tv KingPin
(x)tv Never Been Kissed
( ) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(~) Joe Dirt
(~) KING KONG ^ [the remake, not the original]
Total so far: 35

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber [the original, not the remake]
Total so far: 36 

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago ^
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy #
(x) Secret Window 
( ) I Am Sam 
( ) The Whole Nine Yards 
( ) The Whole Ten Yards 
Total so far: 39 

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(~) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles ^
( ) Remember the Titans 
( ) Coach Carter 
( ) The Grudge 
( ) The Grudge 2 
(x)tv The Mask 
( ) Son Of The Mask 
Total so far: 43

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven ^
(x) Ocean's Twelve ^
(x) Bourne Identity ^
(x) Bourne Supremecy ^
(x) Lone Star #
(x)tv Bedazzled 
( ) Predator I 
( ) Predator II 
( ) The Fog 
( ) Ice Age 
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown 
( ) Curious George 
Total so far: 49 

(x) Independence Day ^
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss’s Daughter
(~) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds ^
(x) Rush Hour ^
(x)tv Rush Hour 2 
Total so far: 53 

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways ^
(x)tv Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x)tv Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump ^
( ) Big Trouble in Little China 
(x) The Terminator 
(x) The Terminator 2 
( ) The Terminator 3 
Total so far: 62 

(x) X-Men ^#
(x) X2
( ) X-3
(x) Spider-Man ^
(x) Spider-Man 2 ^
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday [the original and the remake]
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek ^
(x) Shrek 2 *
Total so far: 71 

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street ^ [There is only the original, right?]
(x) Old School 
( ) The Notebook 
( ) K-Pax ^
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe 
( ) A Walk to Remember 
( ) The Glass House 
( ) Boogeyman 
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin 
Total so far: 74

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring #^
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers #^
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King #^
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark #
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom #
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade #
Total so far: 80

(x) Baseketball #
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf ^
(x)tv Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
(~) American History X ^
( ) Three
Total so Far: 83

(x) Mean Girls ^
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.^
(x) Titanic ^
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail #
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 87

(x) Sleepy Hollow
( ) Club Dread
(~) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
( ) Chronicle Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
(~) Drumline
(x)tv Hocus Pocus
Total so far: 91

(x)tv Kill Bill vol 1 *^
(x)tv Kill Bill vol 2 *^
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
(x) Uptown Girls
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 95

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
(x)tv Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
(x)tv Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 103

(x) The Matrix #^
(x) The Matrix Reloaded ^
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Snakes on A Plane
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

Total seen: 108
Total I’ve seen part of: 12